Top 10 Ways To Be Pretentious

1. Have a fake accent

There is nothing more annoying than someone who cannot pull off a fake accent. You want to have a fake ang moh accent? Fine. Just don’t be so fail about it and mispronounce words ok?

(Source: Kingdom of Style)

 

2. Talk in third person

If there’s one thing Genna can’t deal with, it’s when people talk in third person. You see, Genna is all about not being an annoying prick. Genna doesn’t believe in talking in third person, because it’s a stupid habit. Genna wants to know if she’s annoying you yet. Am I? Good. Now stop doing it.

 

(Source: fc05’s DeviantArt)


3. Be w h i m s i c a l *+ + +

This applies to Twitter, Facebook and blog posts. Take note that you don’t actually have to be whimsical to pull this off. It’s easy, really – all you have to do is add a couple of asterisks, symbols and random spaces in between some philosophical quote about love/life/friendship/unicorns and everyone will think that you’re really deep and capricious and quaint.

See below for an example of a whimsical Twitter post.

-l o v e -*** is nutteh —+++ (insert instagram picture of something random and artsy, like a bunch of peanuts sprawled out on the table)

Nothing gets more whimsical than a unicorn hanging out in a mysterious forest. (Source: Ironshod’s DeviantArt)


4. Get a tumblr

…and post nothing but artsy, attitude images or random (but intellectual-sounding, of course) quotes that you got off the Internet. I’m just going to come out and say it – NOBODY CARES!!! Let’s face it, everyone just wants spy-worthy content so ditch the artsy posts for party, travel or outfit pictures instead.
(Source: Prim Things)


5. Name-drop

Okay okay, we get that you partied with some tycoon’s son at Filter Club. And went shopping at Hermes with your heiress friend. And hung out with the princess of Johor. Now let’s talk about something more interesting. Like how there’s always that one chicken McNugget that’s shaped like a boot.

(Source: Yu Live Yu Learn)

 

6. Ninja boast

I’m sure you know someone who ninja boasts. Heck, you probably do it too. Ninja boasting is when you make it out to seem like you’re complaining/embarrassed, but are really trying to tell the world that you think you’re awesome.

Skinny bitch: Oh my god, I eat soooo much! I’m so fat!
Fat friend: *rolls eyes internally* You’re not fat lah.
Skinny bitch: Everyone always asks me where all the food goes because I eat soooo much. My stomach is sooo fat. *points at non-existent gut*

(Source: Ninja Smart)

 

7. Shop at places you can’t even pronounce the names of

…like Hermes, Agnes B and Bvlgari. Who cares if you can’t pronounce their names when you’ve got that atas paper bag to tote around town?

 

8. Wear sunglasses even when it’s not sunny

Because you never know when the (almost non-existent) paparazzi in Singapore might catch you off guard.

(Source: Zimbio)

 

9. Upload artsy-looking instagrams of all the designer items in your bag

And quote something like, “All I need for my annual getaway to the Maldives <3”. Make sure all the designer labels are visible too, okay?

 

10. When your friend asks you to hang out, respond with a deep sigh and tell her you’re booked up all week.

Because clearly you’re a really busy person who has too many important things to do. Like clip your toenails while watching re-runs of Desperate Housewives.

(Source: Wild Web Women)

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