1. The Wannabe Fashionista
There are two kinds of fashion influencers out there – the ones who actually have style, and the ones that just…don’t. Although her photos are usually shot with a top-notch camera, the Wannabe Fashionista’s OOTDs are sadly unimpressive. In fact, they mostly consist of mismatched outfits from some blogshop with an act atas name like Chantelle La Belle Couture (no, really). Her poses are also kind of um, serious. Because it’s called high fashion modelling OK??
Don’t mind my awkward legs, I’m just being a MODEL k. (Source: Smosh.com)
2. The Beauty Blogger
Naysayers who don’t believe in influencer marketing clearly don’t read beauty blogs (the good ones, at least). I don’t know about you, but whenever I read a blogpost about some new makeup product, I’m just like OMG THIS IS MAGIC I MUST HAVE IT. And then I dash to the nearest Sephora/Watson’s to buy the product right away. #shutupandtakemymoney
Don’t know why I would ever need so many pink lipsticks but…BUY THEM ALL! (Source: makeupandbeautyblog.com)
3. The Xiaxue Wannabe
Whether you love or hate her, Xiaxue is still one of the biggest social media influencers in Singapore (and maybe even the region). As such, it’s not surprising that there are dozens of wannabes out there who try to play the controversy card to rise in the ranks. Oh honey, not to burst your bubble but blogging about plastic surgery has been done (and dusted). Ho hum.
4. The One Whose Life You Wish You Had
This is the influencer who seems to have all the right boxes ticked – she’s photogenic, fashionable and has the perfect boyfriend/husband (on social media, at least). Some love her and some don’t care much for her It Girl label, but one thing’s for sure – everyone wants to be her. Or have her closet, at least.
Lalala let me just take a selfie in my shoe closet, which also happens to look like a department store. (Source: fashionaddictedfoodies.com)
5. The Photogenic One
The Photogenic one is the influencer who looks good in anything, from any angle. Whether she’s smiling, squinting, looking up or looking down, she always looks good…even when she’s not posing at all. I don’t know about you, but most of my candid photos usually entail having one eye bigger than the other (O_o) and/or my hair looking like a nest.
When caught off-guard in a candid photo…(Source: dramafever.com/allkpop.com)
6. The Has-Been
This is the influencer whose blog was on everyone’s bookmark list…in 2008. Now, she’s been reduced to random advertorials (armpit whitening, anyone?), posting gratuitous bikini photos and promoting her blogshop instead (because all good bloggers need to own a blogshop k). Time for a career change, perhaps?
You know it’s time for a change when the only influence you have is over chee ko peks and random wannabes. (Source: imgflip.com)
7. The Faker
From speaking in an affected accent to schmoozing with the right people, The Faker will go to great lengths to create a facade of popularity. It’s fairly easy to spot him, because he’ll be the one with the suspiciously high numbers (in relation to his actual popularity). I mean, something’s fishy if he’s got the same number of followers as people who are ten times more well-known than him right?
Whenever he’s confronted with the question of buying followers, he’ll play the plausible deniability card (“Buy followers?! Oh no, I actually welcome a purge! Because I’m innocent! But of course, I can’t tell if all of my followers are real or not. Someone might be trying to sabotage me with fake followers k.”) – but it doesn’t matter, because everyone knows he’s as fake as his China-made knock off watch.
Ain’t nobody got time fo’ yo scamming ways. (Source: imgflip.com)
8. The One You Don’t Know Why Is Famous
This is the influencer who’s famous for, well, nothing…unless you count an over-the-top designer bag collection as an accomplishment. Her Instagram is filled with countless photos of her head-to-toe designer OOTDs, taken by a photographer who may or may not have been her maid. She also usually completes her photos with tai tai-esque quotes like “Can’t wait for my massage after such a long day of shopping!” Because you need to emphasise how fab your life is OK?
9. The Buay Paiseh One
The Buay Paiseh One gives other influencers a bad rep, because she’ll (somewhat ungraciously) try to score free stuff and invites from PR/Brand reps by asking for “collaborations”. Look lady, no one’s going to take you seriously when you’re writing from email@example.com. And when you have such shockingly bad grammar.
Yes, because you’ll reflect so well on our brand. With your spectacular writing and photography skillz. (Source: imgflip.com)
10. The Deluded One
The Deluded One, as the name so aptly describes, is the blogger/Instagrammer who acts like an influencer…but has an embarrassingly small extent of influence. She’ll send companies her stats and advertorial rates, and sign off with something noob like “Pls reply me by this week.” Sometimes, she might even get nasty when a company refuses to work with her (anybody remember the Janiqueel incident?). Tsk tsk, didn’t your mother ever teach you to be polite when asking for something?