1. We bond over National Service stories.
Whenever we feel an awkward silence creeping in, we bring up that sadistic drill sergeant every NS boy hated, or the many hours we spent cleaning our ‘wives’ (aka our rifles).
2. We avoid outward displays of affection.
Because sometimes we find it hard to say those 3 words…”Apply for HDB?” (Just kidding. But maybe not.) We may not be the most romantic guys around, but we like to think that you know we love you.
3. We live with our parents, even when we’re all grown up.
Unlike most Western countries, living with your Singaporean parents even when you’re in your twenties is not weird at all. I mean, have you seen the cost of housing in Singapore? Call me a momma’s boy if you want, but staying at my mom’s place is cost effective and filial. Win-win.
4. We’ll do just about anything for our ‘brothers’ on their wedding day.
You know, you ladies can get pretty crafty sometimes, BUT we’ll do anything for a bro if it means he can get to his lady love. Rub chilli padi on my lips? Sure. Eat some unappetising concoction that looks like poop? Bring it on. Dance to Justin Bieber in our underwear? Game on. We’ll take this #bromance thing to a whole different level.
5. We wear slippers almost all the time.
Set the fashion police on us if you will, but we love our slippers and aren’t afraid to show it. In fact, if we could get away with it (read: when our girlfriends/wives approve of them), we’d wear slippers all the time.
6. Sometimes we spew vulgarities that don’t even make sense.
I’m not talking about standard Hokkien vulgarities like CCB or KNN, but the really good ones where we string together a bunch of choice swear words, like ‘Pukimak Kau Square!‘ What’s funny is that the phrase usually translates to something really random, like ‘Your mother’s genitals are the shape of a square’.
7. We hate paying to use the roads.
And we’ll do whatever it takes to avoid paying ERP charges. Even if it means waiting by the side of the road until the ERP meter goes off. #noshame
8. We’ll take you on the same date over and over again.
I know we’re not the most creative bunch, but can you really blame us? Singapore is such a small country, and there are really only so many times we can take you to the Night Safari. Trust us, we’re always desperately asking our parents, friends and even forums for date ideas. Besides, is it really so bad to be a creature of habit?
9. If we bother, we take housework very seriously.
Ahem, in case you didn’t know…we’ve been trained by both our moms and the aforementioned drill sergeants to spot dirt with pinpoint precision. All we need is a (legit) reason to clean, and everything will be spick and span. I think.
10. We like to refer to ourselves as Limpeh.
Not because we actually think of ourselves as your father (um, weird much?), but because it denotes a certain level of #respect and #swag.