1. Fierce Shoes
As much as you’re dying to show off your new Sam Edelman heels with the killer spikes, a date isn’t the best place to wear them to. The average man’s understanding of fashion trends is limited to what Sofia Vergara wore on the most recent episode of Modern Family. Yes, the men really don’t get it. And the ones who do are probably gay.
2. Harem Pants
I know you love your harem pants because they’re pretty much like a chic version of fat pants, but unfortunately they make you look like you have thunder thighs and a very large behind. Save these for days you can’t be bothered to shave your legs.
How many chickens do you reckon you could hide in those pants eh? (Source: zigoti)
3. Sweats (or anything you would wear to the gym)
As much as you love your fat pants and over-sized CSI tee, it goes without saying that these are things that should only be reserved for when you’re lounging around at home alone. I don’t care if you’re feeling bloated or lazy. Put on your big girl panties and zip yourself into a pair of skinny jeans.
4. High Waisted Jeans
Only 1% of the population (aka Giselle Bundchen and her crew of leggy Victoria’s Secret Angels) can pull off high-waisted jeans without looking like a mismatched soccer mom. Life isn’t an Urban Outfitters catalogue, so don’t kid yourself into thinking it is.
Agggh! My eyes! They’ve been scarred! (Source: Denim Blog)
5. Mid-rift Tops
Oh honey, if you don’t got the goods, then don’t flaunt it. Just stop it OK, no one wants to see your muffin top hanging out like nobody’s business.
(Source: Hive Health Media)
6. Stripper Heels
Six-inch bondage heels may look hot on the runway, but are you a model? No? I didn’t think so. Now stop it before you trip and break a bone. And while we’re on the topic of strippers, don’t even think about pairing them with micro shorts. Or worse, sans shorts a la Taylor Momsen.
Taylor Momsen…such a classy little lady. (Source: Daily Mail)
7. Ass-crack Pants
I don’t know how to put this tactfully….actually, nevermind, I’m just going to be frank about it – unless you’re Miranda Kerr, nobody wants to see your bulging ass crack. Especially when it’s pasty white and looks like an over sized longevity bun. Also, do us all a favour and don’t wear a thong.
P.S. If a guy tells you that he digs this look then you probably shouldn’t be dating him. Just sayin’.
Um yeah so…Britney called. She wants her whale tail back. (Source: WhaleTail World)
Unless you work at MAC and/or are a tranny, go easy on the makeup will you? You’re not exactly going to score points with his parents if you rock up to his place with raccoon eyes and clown red lipstick. (“Aiyo! This one must be very hiao one. Better be careful.”)
9. Chicken Cutlets
(Source: Revolve Clothing)
I’m sure I don’t need to explain the implications of wearing something that might cause a major wardrobe malfunction. This includes wearing a top or dress that is two sizes too small. After all, you never know when you might sneeze and cause a button to inadvertently pop out and pelt your date in the eye.