I like Instagram as much as the next person. I really do. I mean, it’s easy to use, makes my pics look all artsy even though I know nothing about photography and makes for easy spying on hot/rich people and their escapades.
But some things (and people *cough*Kim Kardashian*cough*) really annoy me and I can’t be the only one. I think. Here’s my list of annoying Instagram posts (some of which I’m also guilty of).
1. One too many selfies
What do Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian have in common? A penchant for being fame whores (and bad fashion sense). Just kidding (but not really). My point is, one or two shots of yourself in the mirror are fine, but bombarding feeds with selfies every hour is narcissistic to say the least. We saw your face 15 minutes ago, and yes, we still remember what you look like.
Just hanging out in my bathroom in a swimsuit…with a gold belt…and a wizard’s robe…(Source: US Magazine)
2. Too many hashtags
Okay, we get that you want more Likes or Followers. And I’m probably guilty of this one too. After all, it’s pretty embarrassing when your photo only has one Heart (from yourself) right? But you really don’t have to add a million tags, especially if it’s something generic like #love #life #forever. It’ll just get lost in a sea of other photos with the same generic tag. So stop. Please. It hurts my eyes.
3. Multiple blurry photos
Maybe I’m not very with it, but posting photos of every dish you’ve had at breakfast, lunch and dinner seems to be in the in thing these days. Even if it’s blurry and you can’t really tell what it is. It’s like, oh look at this blurry picture of my Baked Alaska! It’s so blurry it just looks like a glob of cream but it is of great importance that people know I had this for lunch therefore I will upload this lousy picture on Instagram and also hashtag it with #foodporn.
It’s called quality control people. Use it.
4. Photos with unrelated hashtags
How do I put this across lightly? Pictures of your crappy meal are not considered #foodporn. Those century eggs aren’t foodporn, they look like lumps of poo.
How…is this food porn?! (Source: UmmZ)
5. Ninja boasting photos
Instagram is the perfect platform to ninja boast aka pretend you’re not showing off when you really are. All you have to do is post a picture of your Birkin lying casually on your bed (Oh? What’s that lying there? Just my $20,000 bag k thanks.) and caption it as “Cleaning my room today! #springcleaning”. Because I’m sure everyone is interested in how organized you are.
La dee da just cleaning out my closet…don’t know what all those Birkins are doing there….(Source: Rich Kids of Instagram)
6. Artsy pics that mean nothing
I’m sure you’re all too familiar with this. How many times have you seen a picture of a normal Starbucks cup perched on a normal table, made to look artsy with a filter and border? I get that Instagram makes ordinary photos look special and maybe even a little bit awesome, but the bottom line is that nobody really cares. At all. And unless you’re Taylor Swift (or someone as popular), nobody’s going to give two hoots about pictures of inanimate objects. We want outfit pics! And cute animal pics! And party pics! Okay rant over.
The juxtaposition of the Starbucks cup with the juice box is truly stunning. A real piece of work. (Source: studio1923)
7. Pictures of lyrics or words
This is somewhat related to the previous point, but seriously, who cares about looking at a bunch of words about feelings? Especially the kind with cryptic lyrics or emo poems.
I ran out of photos to post on Instagram, so let me distract you with this fabulous picture of…wait for it….words! Yes. Truly inspiring.
8. Shirtless mirror shots
Okay so maybe I’m jealous that you have rock-hard abs and mine are well…hiding or something. But posting shirtless mirror shots for the rest of us flabby folks on Instagram is kind of something only douche bags would do. Also, you could at least take it in a nicer bathroom y’know?
Is it just me, or does Pauly D from Jersey Shore have a crazy eye? (Source: Tabloid Heat)
9. Religious captions
Okay, so I get you believe God created the Sun and Earth and all that good stuff, but my God do you really have to post multiple pictures of the sunrise/rain/a tree with a quote like “God’s creations =)”?
10. Photos with captions that don’t make sense
Yes Rihanna, I’m talking about you. How does someone who posts the weirdest photos with completely irrelevant captions have over 4 million followers?! Also, her Instagram handle is @badgalriri. That alone should deter you from following her on Instagram because really, how can you take someone who calls herself Bad Gal Riri seriously?
This also applies to people who post poems and supposedly thought-provoking quotes as captions. I have no idea how an Outfit of The Day photo relates to a deep-sounding quote like “Life is love~” but stop it. I just want to see your outfit photos and your misleading captions are deterring me from doing so.